Thank you so much for your boldness and honesty in writing your story this time. You describe what so many experience today: deep loneliness in a place surrounded by supposed "family-like" community. Sharing your voice gives voice to those who feel unseen. More than ever, this is so important. Really appreciate this.
Thank you so much, my friend! ❤️This one was probably the hardest for me to share, but I know God is using my hurt for good. The process doesn’t always feel good, but thank goodness God’s life-changing love does not depend on how we feel. His grace and promises remain true and steadfast. Always.
Hello Kimberly. My name is Kevin. I pray that you and your husband, if not already, will find the church where God will have you attend. Church hurt is a real thing. I wish I could offer a word of encouragement in what to look for in a church home. I think you're on the right track in learning to persist. If the church is preaching and teaching the unadulterated Word of God, that's a good place to start. It's a shame that church hurt exist. However, God's word and grace gives us the power to overcome even that.
Thank you, Kevin. I too wish church hurt did not exist, but as painful as it is, I am learning how God uses our painful experiences to bring light to others going through similar struggles. I also try to remind myself that there will be no more tears in Heaven. This hurt may feel like it will last forever, but the truth is it is only temporary. Life with Jesus will be the most healing place for us all ❤️🩹
Whew. I will be praying for you to find your church home. I just know God is getting it all ready for you, and has apparently placed a calling on you to be the welcoming smile, reaching out to new faces. How powerful, to know so well the pain of not being seen, and to have that restored and redeemed. I felt every bit of this! New wineskin 🩷🙏🏻
Thank you, Sarah 🫂 I truly appreciate your support and prayers so much ❤️ I’ll keep you updated as the search progresses. We have started going to a new church, so we’ll see. It’s still very new to us, but I remain hopeful.
Thank you so much for sharing your honest story, Kimberly. It's so hard to "break in" to the circles at some churches. Once people have become comfortable at their church and found their people, they often forget the "new girl." I am such an introvert. I was so glad for a connection before I started attending my first church back from a long hiatus. That connection led to my first small group of girls who I am now life-long friends with. And it's funny because at the time, I think myself and one other girl were ones who actually went to the church our small group was with. I hope you find a church for your sweet family soon <3
Thank you so much, Emily! 💜 You’re so right, it is very hard being the “new girl” trying to find your place in already established circles. Yet, your story of finding your small group is very encouraging to me and gives me hope that I will be able to find a group like that one day. 🙏🏻
Yes, I feel like those groups just “appear” when we need them most. I am still blown away that those are still some of my very best friends almost 20 years later (whoa, that’s crazy writing that…).
I am so sorry Kimberly. I relocated this past year and am looking for my community as well. No matter our age, the insecurity of walking into a new place is real. This is one of the reasons I mentor single women in the church. More than not, they feel isolated, overlooked, unseen, misunderstood or disappointed with God. Research studies show that 1 in 3 in the pew are never married, divorced or widowed and they feel just like you. Keep looking my friend. Your beautiful soul is going to find the right community and friends that feed into your life. You’re going to find a solid foundation for your family to grow in. I’m praying for you to hear confirmation clearly from Jesus the minute you drive on the parking lot and walk through the church doors. I can’t wait to hear about where you become planted. I’m praying for you sweet friend!
Thank you so much, Kelley! 💜 You are so sweet and I pray you find your new church home soon too. You’re absolutely right—it’s hard no matter the age to have to start over.
I think it is so wonderful and such a blessing that you mentor single women. What an encouragement for them to know they have someone cheering them on. May God continue to bless you abundantly and your ministry!
I am currently church-less. I didn't know my much improved crowd insecurity would show up like this - last Sunday I got ready, drove to the church meeting-in-a-school, drove around the parking lot, and then drove back out. My fear kept me from just getting out and going in. I thinking of trying again this Sunday.
I also get a lot of anxiety going into new and unknown situations. I worry way too much about how to act and what to say. It can truly be paralyzing. Wendy, I am so proud of you for even trying. It takes a lot courage to even pull into the parking lot. I know stepping inside is scary, but remember that God is with you and has already gone ahead of you. He knows what we need and when we need it.
I may never fully understand why I had to walk into so many churches and feel excluded, but I do know it was not wasted. He has opened my eyes to see others like me. The ones standing in the back, afraid to fully step inside yet. God is good and we will find our church homes.
I will be praying for you. I hope you’ll be able to step inside this Sunday. Also know that it’s okay if you need to leave early too. Sometimes just knowing you can leave if it gets too much eases my anxiety. I hope you’ll let me know it goes. I’m here if you ever want to talk more about it.
Thank you so much, Louise!💜 Your words are very encouraging and I agree with you. If I hadn’t been overlooked, then I wouldn’t be searching where I am now or be able to see others who feel invisible like me too. Despite how painful it is, it is eye opening. God really does turn mourning to dancing. I feel His love and guidance through this difficult journey. He is my forever home, wherever I go, and I praise God for that!
Thank you so much for your boldness and honesty in writing your story this time. You describe what so many experience today: deep loneliness in a place surrounded by supposed "family-like" community. Sharing your voice gives voice to those who feel unseen. More than ever, this is so important. Really appreciate this.
Thank you so much, my friend! ❤️This one was probably the hardest for me to share, but I know God is using my hurt for good. The process doesn’t always feel good, but thank goodness God’s life-changing love does not depend on how we feel. His grace and promises remain true and steadfast. Always.
I so appreciate your willingness to use your story and be a voice for so many. May God bless your faithfulness, my sweet friend! ❤️
Hello Kimberly. My name is Kevin. I pray that you and your husband, if not already, will find the church where God will have you attend. Church hurt is a real thing. I wish I could offer a word of encouragement in what to look for in a church home. I think you're on the right track in learning to persist. If the church is preaching and teaching the unadulterated Word of God, that's a good place to start. It's a shame that church hurt exist. However, God's word and grace gives us the power to overcome even that.
Thank you, Kevin. I too wish church hurt did not exist, but as painful as it is, I am learning how God uses our painful experiences to bring light to others going through similar struggles. I also try to remind myself that there will be no more tears in Heaven. This hurt may feel like it will last forever, but the truth is it is only temporary. Life with Jesus will be the most healing place for us all ❤️🩹
Whew. I will be praying for you to find your church home. I just know God is getting it all ready for you, and has apparently placed a calling on you to be the welcoming smile, reaching out to new faces. How powerful, to know so well the pain of not being seen, and to have that restored and redeemed. I felt every bit of this! New wineskin 🩷🙏🏻
Thank you, Sarah 🫂 I truly appreciate your support and prayers so much ❤️ I’ll keep you updated as the search progresses. We have started going to a new church, so we’ll see. It’s still very new to us, but I remain hopeful.
Thank you so much for sharing your honest story, Kimberly. It's so hard to "break in" to the circles at some churches. Once people have become comfortable at their church and found their people, they often forget the "new girl." I am such an introvert. I was so glad for a connection before I started attending my first church back from a long hiatus. That connection led to my first small group of girls who I am now life-long friends with. And it's funny because at the time, I think myself and one other girl were ones who actually went to the church our small group was with. I hope you find a church for your sweet family soon <3
Thank you so much, Emily! 💜 You’re so right, it is very hard being the “new girl” trying to find your place in already established circles. Yet, your story of finding your small group is very encouraging to me and gives me hope that I will be able to find a group like that one day. 🙏🏻
Yes, I feel like those groups just “appear” when we need them most. I am still blown away that those are still some of my very best friends almost 20 years later (whoa, that’s crazy writing that…).
That’s incredible!! 20 years of friendship is a remarkable blessing indeed!🤗
I am so sorry Kimberly. I relocated this past year and am looking for my community as well. No matter our age, the insecurity of walking into a new place is real. This is one of the reasons I mentor single women in the church. More than not, they feel isolated, overlooked, unseen, misunderstood or disappointed with God. Research studies show that 1 in 3 in the pew are never married, divorced or widowed and they feel just like you. Keep looking my friend. Your beautiful soul is going to find the right community and friends that feed into your life. You’re going to find a solid foundation for your family to grow in. I’m praying for you to hear confirmation clearly from Jesus the minute you drive on the parking lot and walk through the church doors. I can’t wait to hear about where you become planted. I’m praying for you sweet friend!
Thank you so much, Kelley! 💜 You are so sweet and I pray you find your new church home soon too. You’re absolutely right—it’s hard no matter the age to have to start over.
I think it is so wonderful and such a blessing that you mentor single women. What an encouragement for them to know they have someone cheering them on. May God continue to bless you abundantly and your ministry!
I am currently church-less. I didn't know my much improved crowd insecurity would show up like this - last Sunday I got ready, drove to the church meeting-in-a-school, drove around the parking lot, and then drove back out. My fear kept me from just getting out and going in. I thinking of trying again this Sunday.
I also get a lot of anxiety going into new and unknown situations. I worry way too much about how to act and what to say. It can truly be paralyzing. Wendy, I am so proud of you for even trying. It takes a lot courage to even pull into the parking lot. I know stepping inside is scary, but remember that God is with you and has already gone ahead of you. He knows what we need and when we need it.
I may never fully understand why I had to walk into so many churches and feel excluded, but I do know it was not wasted. He has opened my eyes to see others like me. The ones standing in the back, afraid to fully step inside yet. God is good and we will find our church homes.
I will be praying for you. I hope you’ll be able to step inside this Sunday. Also know that it’s okay if you need to leave early too. Sometimes just knowing you can leave if it gets too much eases my anxiety. I hope you’ll let me know it goes. I’m here if you ever want to talk more about it.
Thank you for caring without even knowing me. I pray God blessed you in your walk.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt experience, Kimberly.
I’ve lived across continents and carried that same ache — the feeling of being the outsider, always on the edge, looking in.
But here’s what God has shown me:
Sometimes, the ones who never feel at home anywhere are the ones God is shaping to create a home for others.
What if the ache itself is the compass?
In my desperation, I devoured God’s Word — and if I’d been comfortable, I never would’ve.
God was preparing me, shaping my hunger into something that could feed others.
So take courage.
Belonging is ultimately found in Christ.
God is leading you, forming you, and preparing a place for you.
Home is not behind you.
Home is ahead.
Thank you so much, Louise!💜 Your words are very encouraging and I agree with you. If I hadn’t been overlooked, then I wouldn’t be searching where I am now or be able to see others who feel invisible like me too. Despite how painful it is, it is eye opening. God really does turn mourning to dancing. I feel His love and guidance through this difficult journey. He is my forever home, wherever I go, and I praise God for that!
I feel your pain. (hug)
Thank you, Cindy 🫂❤️
Thank you for your support, my friend 🫂❤️